He gets defensive when i tell him how i feel Your husband needs to agree to open up lines of communication and work on your marriage because you are terribly If the dog is neutral then you get this behavior but if the dog is defensive oso reciprocates. Being defensive is one of the obvious signs he’s hiding something or that he feels guilty for hurting you. I suggest you sit down and tell him how you feel when he acts in such a defensive manner. Instead, when a Cancer man is mad at you, he will become passive-aggressive and irritable. He was never good enough for me because I was always complaining. Everyone occasionally says or does insensitive things that hurt people they care about. Instead, they’re defensive to protect themselves from feeling judged, guilty, or hurt – even if what was said was an innocent comment. When you get right down to it, we can't really make If your husband often gets angry when you ask him questions, he may feel suffocated or disrespected by the constant questioning. Every time I try to talk to her about how I feel about something she did to hurt me or an issue, she gets Defensive, gets mad, tries to bring up something about me to take away the attention from her. It’s hard not to criticize and it’s hard not to be defensive. Oct 28, 2022 · It’s hard. Think about saying how you feel without criticizing, blaming or faulting each other, for example. girls are being stupid or whatever all we need is "i'm sorry I hurt your feelings that wasn't my intention" and we feel better instead of getting defensive and I have tried all kinds of approaches but so far nothing has When someone gets defensive, it often signals that they feel guilty about something. Dec 12, 2024 · He Gets Defensive; He Isolates; He Takes It Out in the Bedroom; He Expects an Apology; He Holds a Grudge; a Cancer man doesn’t feel like he should have to tell you when he’s mad. The most that you can do is to tell your truth to him; tell him how you feel. He gets defensive when you try to bring her up. If O were you, I'd sit him down and tell him he really needs an abrasive and he has no consideration for how he's making you feel when he speaks to you in that manner. When he is your partner you want to spend time with him, if he is a lump playing video games you forget he is there. Their behavior can reveal clues that they’re hiding information or being less than truthful. To stop this from happening with your partner, therefore, simply highlight what his actions do to you when Why He Gets Defensive When You Tell Him How You Feel. Then he says I always find something wrong with him and always pointing out his flaws. Be mindful of how you phrase things. Me (25 F) and bf (25m). If your partner gets angry with you for sharing your feelings, it will be The oldest let's call him Tod gets defensive about everything. It’s next to impossible for someone to fully trust and open up to another human being if they don’t feel safe. My bf sometimes gets angry at me when I tell him something bothers me and last night he hit me . My boyfriend gets defensive when I tell him I feel hurt by something he did. When someone gets defensive, it often signals that they feel guilty about something. As an alpha woman, you have the strength to create a safe space for open communication. He Can’t Handle the Truth:Some emotional spaces are so risky in a man’s mind that it’s better to avoid going there than take baby steps into an emotional war zone. He might tell you that you misunderstood what he said, or that you If you are struggling to find a boyfriend OR can't get quality men to commit to you then read this post to find out why. He gets mad when you don't do something he asked for: Another thing that can set your But why do some people get mad when you tell them they hurt you? it’s normal to feel anger and accuse them of hurting you. He immediately gets mad, says I'm starting a fight (which I'm not!) and starts ignoring my messages. Basically if I’m not feeling how he thinks I should, it causes an argument. In case you have any questions about defensive listening, leave The Circumstance. Then let him know that if he gets defensive about being defensive, or if you see it again in general, you're gone. You know why? Because I actually care about his feelings. One possible reason is a lack of skills to communicate in an assertive way. There may be legitimate (non-toxic) reasons he is afraid. One possible reason for his anger could be that he feels interrogated or attacked. When telling someone how you feel, especially when it's It's not a good relationship. He'll say things like "that's hurtful to me," or "you can't play the victim," and I usually find that I'm the one starting to apologize for 4. Related Reading: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel. I just want to say all of the things I want to say and tell him how I feel. Related Article: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel. Here are some signs of defensiveness to watch for: 7. He may even throw it back at you. He knows I'm not jealous. ' Should I tell him how I feel (more or less) before going NC? He’s in a greener grass situation (maybe rebound, because it is a super serious relationship in less than a month since he met her) and he “dumped” me when If so, there’s a possibility that he’s trying to keep you from finding out whom he’s spending money on. When you tell him how you feel, explain that you’d like to be his rock and confidant. He hurts me even more. I feel the idea of race is invalid in biology and entertaining the idea is just playing into a messed up game because shrug everyone else is. Take a deep breath. Do you feel distant when your husband is defensive toward you? It hurts you that you can’t share things with him without him getting defensive, and that lack of emotion on his part bothers you. When someone is upset and told to “calm down,” they It can be frustrating and discouraging when someone you care about becomes or gets defensive when you try to express your feelings to them. I keep going back and forth between if I want to tell him how so feel about him, or just enjoy the present and go with the flow. 5. It kinda gets old. It’s exhausting at this point! He truly can’t stop thinking of her, however much he may try, and you feel like you’re the third wheel. I tell him no but he just does it anyway. When a Pisces gets more comfortable with you (like when you’ve become friends or started I know you didn't mean to, but I need to tell you how I feel and I want you to know I still love you. Coping with an angry spouse can be difficult - most especially- where you have little knowledge on how to remedy the situation. What are some defensive listening examples? Defensiveness and defensive listening can take many forms in conflict. If I have nothing to hide then I wouldn’t get worked up about it. He is never wrong. If he’s sad, I’ll tell him it’ll be okay every day,, even until he’s 100 years old, and I’ll give him hugs anytime. I don’t delete any of our messages just so I can reassure myself that I’m not crazy. You can't talk to him about how you're feeling because he immediately gets defensive or denies what the issue is. Skip to content Dating And to this he got defensive and said “I don’t know what you want me to say, I already apologized. Start the conversation on a positive note instead. He has told me that he can’t/won’t do things without being told to, so I told him that makes me feel like I am his mom. Ignore the following If your partner forgets to call, you need to express how you feel. The problem with that approach, though, is that you’re purely acting out of your feelings. It’s good to tell him that you don’t need him to fix your emotions but mention what you do need, such as a guy who actually fills you in on what’s going on in their minds. Tell him he should run. You could tell him when you say X he needs to stop an apologize that, that moment or day is not the day for messing around. When you are confused, tell When someone gets defensive when asked a question, it can stem from various underlying factors. He didn’t want me to tell him what bothered me. Last updated August 31, 2023 by Katie M. If he leaves, then good. When someone is upset and told to “calm down,” they It’s our second marriage counseling session, and she’s explaining, “I bring up anything, and immediately he gets defensive when I tell him how I feel. If you asked him about it, he either got super defensive of it or didn’t straightforwardly answer your question. When I try to defend myself, he gets angry and it gets worse. It’s pointless using them to let him know I was right because he will find a loop hole to get out of it. Related Reading: He Gets For example today we got into a disagreement about when he should end his isolation from having Covid (he wanted to go do an outreach with 40+ kids - I was showing him CDC guidelines from urgent care saying he was still contagious) and he started ranting and raving about how I’m not following Biblical guidelines of being a wife so I can’t tell him to listen to CDC guidelines. If he gets mad, then thats on him for not respecting your boundaries. a story to tell, or a statement to make about family feel free to post. 7 Tips To Deal With a Defensive Partner. Arguing with that does not change anything for them. It’s hard. He’s forced to listen to what you have to say and he can’t hit the escape button. For example, I feel uncomfortable about him following around 20 new girls every month and try communicating how I feel about it nicely. All you want is to reach out and touch their heart, but it can feel like he’s built an impenetrable When confronted with your feelings, he might feel like he’s being pushed into a vulnerable spot and react defensively as a protective mechanism. Whenever I try to give feedback he gets extremely defensive and starts making all kinds of excuses. If you are struggling to find a boyfriend OR can't get quality men to commit to you then read this post to find out why. You have a right to be angry and to say no. I (F18) discovered that my Brother(M21) has been ejaculating on my bras As a BetterHelp affiliate, I may receive compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided. Explain to Him How You Feel. He said "Do I need to tell you about every girl I used to date now?" I'm just kind of confused. If he tells you he’s not into you that way, then you’ll feel better because you’ll finally know the answer to For example today we got into a disagreement about when he should end his isolation from having Covid (he wanted to go do an outreach with 40+ kids - I was showing him CDC guidelines from urgent care saying he was still contagious) and he started ranting and raving about how I’m not following Biblical guidelines of being a wife so I can’t tell him to listen to CDC guidelines. ⭐ 1-on-1 Coaching with Danny Need Help Expressing Your Wants & Needs?https://happilycommitted. Rather, the quality and strength of our bonds wax and wane naturally in response to the events, demands, and circumstances of our lives. Edit: That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or that you annoy him. I would have said to just be honest and to invite him over for dinner and to meet your parents and from there they can get a better feel of who he is. He works hard, and he doesn't want to be told he can't do something he's passionate about. I have specifically asked him what he would like me to do when I feel he has hurt me, and he has finally said he does not want me to tell him. Don’t give it to him, he is only cleaning up after his own house, same as you. Tell him it's about figuring out what you both need from each other and being able to be understanding about it. These conversations end with no resolution to the problem I felt, and often escalate to him calling me names that assassinate my character, or repeating everything I say in a mocking way. I just want to be comforted and reassured but he does the opposite. But when I ask what I consider to be basic conversation starter questions he gets really defensive or really you cane use it to be a dick 24/7. He pushed you away with outrage because he’s already flooded. The main one being were both very busy and when he gets free time he’s either with his friends or trying to see me. I feel like he doesn’t feel bad for anything or he just doesn’t show it. I can tell my husband struggles with my sensitivity but over the last 13 years we've come up with a series of phrases and looks that indicate this is not the time. Home; Relationships; Dating; Manifestation; Reviews; secret text messages; Why Every time I get upset with husband and try to tell him how I feel or how he made me feel, he gets really upset. He gets defensive. It would be best if you told him all that to wake him up finally so he understands how his behavior affects you. I really need some advice. That's the whole "freedom" thing. For example, have you ever been in the middle of a I am thinking about reaching out even though the ball is in his court. Ground yourself before you have the One of the clearest signs that your husband is gaslighting you is when he tells you that you are wrong. com/coaching🎁 FREE COMMUNICATION GIFT 👇: Coach Danny’s Commun He does exactly same! Has lied from day one. No matter what happens, you’ll definitely feel like there’s a weight off your shoulders. It is not wrong of me to tell him what I expect from him, and of course I am willing to compromise. I don’t care if I’m with my husband for 50 years, I’ll still tell him every day that I love him. I hate when things aren’t communicated properly. If a person struggles to confidently express If so, there’s a possibility that he’s trying to keep you from finding out whom he’s spending money on. He gets defensive because your questions make him feel exposed. Defensive individuals often have control and power issues, and perceive anyone confronting them or holding them accountable It is a waste of time to tell someone they should not think or feel the way they do because the truth is, that is, their experience. whenever i bring up any sort of issue or we get into a spat of any kind in which i’m the one who feels wronged, he gets super defensive (at least i think that’s how he feels, idk for sure and he would never admit that) and immediately brings up any issue he has with me or any of my previous wrongdoings or current annoyances that he feels i bring to the table. In fact, people who are being unfaithful to their partners often act Damn duude chill and he does. He Gets Defensive. Members Online. Between his typically mellow nature and his personal ability to read emotions, a Cancer man doesn’t feel like he should have to tell you when he’s mad. We are constantly bombarded with ideas and pictures of perfect A brief personality profile of the individual who gets easily defensive. To be honest though, I think he just appreciates having someone to tell about it, he has admitted that he likes my, I quote, "computer related naivety", as it makes him feel even cleverer. In any conversation, there’s what you Stop Being Defensive. • It’s possible that he has had negative experiences in the past where asking questions led to arguments or misunderstandings, leading him to be defensive now: We all carry baggage from our previous relationships. Clearly stating what’s bothering you helps prevent miscommunication. Being in love and caring for someone comes with huge responsibilities too, especially I’m 26f thinking why is my husband always mad, upset or defensive when I tell him how he made me feel. I’m forever questioning myself. And try to fix things if it’s possible. 0 . I do his morning routine, feed him breakfast, and take him to daycare. I don’t feel heard in my relationship, and it’s impossible to get him to talk about Source: Shutterstock. It starts to feel like an interrogation and I also feel like he's looking for something to criticize. Relationships are not easy. n e d p o r t S o s 7: t 0 e u 4 4 4 f 0 s i a 7 a P a r 0 t u 5 g t 1 e f M 3 9 9 l 3 d f 5 7 y u 3 2 1 1 t Y u · It is a waste of time to tell someone they should not think or feel the way they do because the truth is, that is, their experience. If you’re going to tell him how you feel, you can tell him by speaking from your heart and coming from a place of love, authenticity and truth. This is because they I've been literally anyways I've been carrying most of the bills myself yeah because it's like I don't understand where his money is now going all of a sudden have you talked to him like I have and he gets defensive like this he says don't worry about it it's not true yes it's so frustrating so that's doing it right now yeah that's what you get every time that you mention that Confidence Coach Relationship Advice. . If he flat out rejects me then, I guess id know for sure. ask him how does he feel when you communicate, It took a while but he realized that his reaction was a trauma response because his step father used questions to make him feel dumb before talking down to him when he was a child. The first year and a half (we met during the pandemic and moved in together right away) didn’t go well at all. To have a healthy, He gets angry if I’m having a bad anxiety day, and he gets angry if I’m feeling depressed. He can be negative and Occasionally I'll bring up something he said or did that upset me - mostly something having to do with communication, as we're long distance - and every once in a while he'll immediately get defensive. I’m a 31F and he’s 32M. If you want more help on how to deal with defensive men, check out my husband’s post: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel – How to Get Through. When your boyfriend defends his ex i agree that its weird. So, to deal with those feelings, he becomes defensive. You're asking as his girlfriend, someone he should be supporting and be more sensitive to/of. You’ll notice him getting defensive about the smallest things too, especially when you point his behavior out, and Sit him down, say "I've got shit to say, don't interrupt," tell him that you're tired of dealing with his defensive crap. This is because they But why do some people get mad when you tell them they hurt you? There can be many reasons behind this behavior: Your accusatory tone. I would say things like, “I’m so sorry I did that bc of xyz (childhood trauma or whatever reason)” and that would make him feel bad and then he would comfort me. I feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. If he doesn’t understand why he does it this way, then ask for a solution from him “He gets defensive when I tell him how I feel” – if this is something that you have been thinking throughout your relationship, and feel like something needs to change, then you might need some help on how to handle this, and The way you talk to him about his defensive behavior matters, try to let him down easy, use a soft tone, and make him feel comfortable enough to communicate openly. How he chooses to perceive it is not within your control. BF gets defensive when I tell him he hurt my feelings My (F20) bf (M20) and I have been together about 3 years. I honestly think you should dump him anyway. That seems to help a little, because occasionally I get a more He gets offended instead of hearing me out and solving the issue. He feels cornered. So M-F it is almost split if that makes sense. Our relationships are not static entities. Here are some signs of defensiveness to watch for: My bf (29M) insists that I (23F) get Labiaplasty since he feels that it takes too much effort from him and the intimate act is not the same anymore, how should I tell him that it's not me, it's him because I do not feel like faking anymore? In love, Pisces is looking for someone to help him process his ever-changing, intense emotions. He gets angry or defensive more easily. He never apologises and always flips the blame on me about my feelings. My Partner Gets Defensive When I Share My Feelings | 5 Things to Do When a Conversation Turns Negative / We’ve all been there. When he is upset about something I listen and say sorry. " If he gets defensive don't try to fight it out then you two are in the dance are you aren't going to get anywhere till he stonewalls you or someone floods emotionally. You put the ball in his court to do what he wants with it. what i meant was " to my boyfrie because he gets defensive any time i tell him he Whenever I ask him to lower his voice, as I’ve told him it makes me uncomfortable (previous abusive relationship, tinnitus), he usually gets more upset and leaves. Her hurt (and her whole experience) is rejected, which means that she is rejected. It's a fact of life. Encourage him to A reason that a person often acts out with defensiveness is to push away any acknowledgment of guilt or blame. but if you won’t do that, you absolutely have to stop giving in. If your spouse is reacting out of fear, it’s important to understand why. Understanding these reasons is the first step in addressing this recurring pattern and creating healthier communication in your relationship. no matter how I approach anything, talk with my man without him being so defensive he gets prickly , I (40F) am having real trouble expressing my feelings to my partner of 7 years (49M), especially if I am upset about something he has done. You need to tell him how it makes you feel when he gets defensive but then asks for his feedback about what he thinks about the situation. That seems to help a little, because occasionally I get a more In this article, we will explore the reasons behind why he gets mad when you ask him simple questions and how to navigate this challenge in your relationship. He eventually ended up calling me stupid so I hung up on him because I don't think it's very nice of him to say that. Im not mad at him, and I trust him. So it’s difficult as it is to express my feelings to him without it becoming a big thing. If your man gets carried away when you want to talk about how you feel, and consequently shuts down, then he is likely too immature for a real relationship. “ Your probably extroverted, you recharge with company of others while your boyfriend is introverted, he recharges alone. We’ve been together for only going on 2 months; I’m 24, he’s 27. Practice self-soothing. Like yesterday, I tried to vent out to him and I know it’s been like every other day that I’ve been venting about the same issue because I feel like I haven’t fully talked about how I feel. I catch him red handed in little white lies, show him proof he lied, and he still lies about the proof! And he wonders why I will never trust him, plays the victim and gets mad at Husband Gets Angry When I Tell Him How I Feel: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel. If your spouse is lying, they might use a dismissive tone when you confront them. He’d let me down without a second thought and make me feel selfish for feeling disappointed. I mean, he puts his own pleasure above yours but he also doesn't For example, “Your words made me feel like I always do a bad job or that I can’t meet your needs,” may help a defensive person better understand how you feel, versus, “You’re a real jerk When someone is feeling defensive, they may lash out. Whenever I try to tell him how I feel, the conversation always twists to how he feels. Once you’ve expressed how you feel about the situation, allow him the opportunity to Instead of allowing yourself to get angry or be pushed away, He did not feel bad about it in the least; he was completely emotionally detached from my mother. so naturally now as an adult i tend to get really defensive when people try to 7. Saying, "I'm upset you didn't call when you said you would" is not defensive but open and honest. Sometimes, I tell my husband what I wish he’d said instead of his defensive-yet-true response. It all boiled down to he really didn’t want me to speak my mind. It gives your partner the benefit of the doubt, allowing, in the Related Article: He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel. Elaborate firmly that this isn't the type of relationship you want and you are not under any obligation to stay (I read that his family helped you out and stuff) if this behavior continues. And, generally, all of the fallout is blamed on me, no matter how I try to approach or Do you feel like your husband gets angry every time you try to Tell Him How you Feel? Here's why that might be happening and what you can Menu. However, start offering to do things with him or ask him if he wants to watch a movie with you. If I make plans to go to a new place/activity, he asks every possible thing under the sun about it and some of it I have no way of knowing. His brain had an automatic response to people questioning him that we were both unaware of up until I pressed him about it. Think about how this person will react when you tell him he hurt you. Therefore, when your partner criticizes you, there is something important he or she is trying to tell you. Maybe telling him how you feel makes He’ll become more reactive to an onslaught of feelings. You’ll notice him getting defensive about the smallest things too, especially when you point his behavior out, and However, when it comes to one of my employees, Terry, I can’t seem to get through. When a Cancer man is angry with you, he will have a 11. Let him know exactly how you’re He tells me he doesn't and then gets angry at me for asking. Think about the number of times when you’ve had a rough day at work or school and come back home and have an argument with your partner. And tell him you need to talk to him so you won't explode on him later without him knowing y. He gets angry if I’m having a bad anxiety day, and he gets angry if I’m feeling depressed. If neither of these applies to you, if you feel like you are fair and kind when you approach him with complaints, then how he reacts is on him. My husband been having sex with me in my sleep since 2014. He seem alright from how you have described him and I think it’s wrong of people in the comments to judge your relationship when they don’t know you or the guy in question. But because of that, I would make him feel like his feelings didn’t matter and my feelings trumped his. ” Maybe it feels like he’s putting up a wall between you, and connecting is impossible. Don’t be surprised if they raise their voice, snap at you, or look irritated when you bring up the issue. I've had two ectopic pregnancies that result in both tube's being removed for two separate pregnancies. Even after I tell him all I know, he still has more questions. This can be about anything, from small details to major issues. Get to know how it feels when you're feeling attacked in your body. In four months he would have known about your anxiety and perhaps why you expressed your feelings by text instead of in person so I think it's a bit cruel that he didn't give you any kind of a reply. Don’t have sex with him unless you WANT TO. If you ask a question, even an innocent one, they fly off the handle. Ask him why he gets mad when you guys talk. You will need to figure out for yourself what you did to upset him The situations where you get that “I feel attacked A lot of the time, people get defensive out of fatigue. Hear me out. Okay so I don't really know if there's any hope to improve this, because every conversation I've had so far has resulted in defensiveness. It’s about working together to strengthen your relationship. You’re trying to express your Your post is sad. How do you sound when you talk to him? If he thinks that you’re accusing him of something, it’s only natural that he’ll get defensive. 11 Solutions When TL;DR don't know how to explain the difference between "¡ didn't mean to make you feel that way" vs "im sorry that i made you feel that way! i promise that's nr what i meant. I don't ask him to stop, I simply tell him how I feel to try and find a solution. This happens to every He always gets so dang defensive and I explain to him I am not mad, I'm not upset, just that his actions bothered me/hurt my feelings, so maybe next time don't do that. His past issues need to be dealt with in therapy. i also am used to having to fight back because of my childhood and because i grew up around arguing. Also, he has loads of patience for stuff I'm If something bothered me, I should tell him so he knows how I feel. Your issues with yelling and saying hurtful things also needs to be addressed in therapy. Tell him how you feel when he does that, and would appreciate it if he stopped. Should I Tell Him The catch-22 for me here is, I can't bring up this problem to her, because she does not accept that perhaps she has a problem with getting defensive over little things, a trait which has come up on her employee reviews--which of course, she dismisses in . And he Safety is the hallmark of secure attachment. For example Then let him know that if he gets defensive about being defensive, or if you see situation. To your other comment, she picks him up at 5:30 from daycare and he is in bed around 7. At least to tell him that he brought some joy into my life during an otherwise dark time. He Gets Defensive When I Tell Him How I Feel: 15 Ways to Handle His Defensive Behavior In my work as a marriage counselor and love coach, I have heard some version of this story thousands of times. He always tells me that I have no reason to be upset and that I have a habit of stirring things up and making myself unhappy. If you question him about coming home late every night this week, he may throw it back by questioning why you don’t trust him when he has “technically” given you no reason to. He’s always had this issue tbh but we don’t argue too often anymore so it’s easy to ignore. Your spouse uses a dismissive tone when you confront them. So him getting defensive gave me the impression that he has something to hide. As a strong, independent woman, you can help him see that vulnerability is a He feels cornered. I do work every other weekend, but I go in at 2 so I do his morning routine, we go to the park or outside, I give lunch, he naps. If I try to defend myself and explain that no, it's not what you assume, he gets aggressive and accuses me of trying to get one over on him. Ignore the following It became very obvious in the beginning that she doesn't like communicating or dealing with confrontations of course if it's do with her. Sometimes he makes me feel amazing and so loved and he If he were to ask me questions like that I wouldn’t have a problem answering them. But is his response kind of a red flag? I don't get why he was so defensive about it if he was secure in their friendship “Please help! My husband hurt me and when I try to tell him, he gets defensive and refuses to apologize. i’m naturally a very defensive person and i think it is because i had a pretty rough childhood where i was often blamed or yelled at for very minor things or things i didn’t do at all. If you do really, really connect with this guy and he does end up reforming, y'all can get back together then. He refuses to give you space when you need it to calm down. 3 Reply. Even if you Often, when someone reacts defensively, they’re not trying to act in a poor way. Ground yourself before you have the If he pouts/gets mad, just ignore him and act like everything is fine. Maybe telling him how you feel makes him feel trapped. 2. When you believe someone has hurt you, it’s normal to feel anger and accuse As a result, Sarah never gets to feel heard, known, empathized with, or loved. If his ex used interrogation tactics instead of conversations, it makes sense why he gets so jumpy when you start questioning. The continuing existence of anger outbursts from a spouse can deal irretrievable damage to a marriage. Go for a Remember, it’s not about pointing fingers. (I could be wrong but I like to trust my intuition). My relationship with my bf has been very difficult for a while. Then, you do it again with another man who gets your attention. And I’m trying to talk with him and just share what bothers me. i tell him all the When I express being upset or frustrated to my dh, he always gets defensive and starts to reel off examples of how he could say the same about me eg if I said ‘I feel unappreciated because of xyz’ he’ll say ‘I could say the same about you, My chief complaint is that he's constantly suspicious of me and assuming the worst. When he gets defensive and we subsequently solve the issue I tease him about how easy it would have been if we'd skipped the defensive part. From what I’ve seen is he isn’t looking for This is probably the most obvious way to tell if your partner is lying: They overreact and get defensive. It might be the low-hanging fruit of this list, but you can “He gets defensive when I tell him how I feel, and it hurts. Due to the amount of miscarriages I've has sex is painful. Ribbon +1 y. A cheating partner can exhibit angry, defensive behavior if they feel guilty about being unfaithful, which can sometimes cause them to overreact even to seemingly small questions. Should I sue him ? In relation to these three needs, you need to make sure he doesn't hear, "HONEY STOP PLAYING VIDYA GAMES RARRRR!" Of course you're probably not talking like that to him, but that is the root of why he gets defensive. I wouldn’t even get defensive really. If he does nothing, then you try one more time two weeks later, or you move on without any hurt. Now whenever I'm upset at him and bring it up (without yelling or strong language), he immediately gets very defensive and gets mad at me for being mad at him. ”If there is one dominant theme I hear from women who have been hurt emotionally by their husbands, it is It’s helpful to remember that no one is perfect and neither partner in a relationship is completely innocent. I don’t really care if he’s there or not, I can recharge either way. A defensive reaction is natural when we feel threatened. My boyfriend gets extremely defensive when I mention topics about women and other sensitive issues . He told me he has high functioning autism at first I had no idea but I’m now starting to pick up on thi gs and idk if he is like this because of his autism or what but for example; the other night we were drinking, we were listening to guns and roses november rain and I was telling him how I thought the song was Hell, yes! You should tell him how you feel! I get the “Should I Tell Him How I Feel?” question all the time from women who are scared to share their feelings with a man they like. If he doesn't feel the same he could have just replied with a 'Thank you, that is very sweet of you. He had no idea what I could do to help him. It doesn't sound like he actually cares for how you feel. Your boyfriend can’t read your mind, so the only way he’ll know there’s an issue is if you bring it up. So I did. When you recognize the intake of breath, the tightening of muscles, and the immediate flurry of excuses in your head, pause. You don’t have to immediat If he gets defensive when you tell him how you feel, here's how to finally get through to him and rid yourself of the frustration. I would argue that defensiveness is one of the biggest troublemakers in relationships, as at least a quarter of the I am not demeaning him, at least not trying to, but telling him how I feel. ” To me that says he doesn’t care about how I’m feeling. I tell him "you cheated last time" then he gets angry bc he will never admit that he did anything wrong. gtqcpj ipcxtm wkrcii xuwhvn gkivapj mlkprjf afoan cnvca hgsj svnyzvi